The tongues of men,
those gilded weapons of glib,
the strokes seem to fly sure and true,
with those blades which will never dull,
till a thousand souls they have kulled

the praises they utter,
seem to be written on the sands of time,
never worth more to them than a lost dime,
even though they seem to set a thousand hearts a flutter,
for they are the sharpest tool of all,
the sweet poison which may cause,
yet a thousand innocents to fall,

The critiques though seem to be easier still,
the vilifications easier to come by,
they though are hewn on the stones of eternity,
and it takes a true mason to erode the marks away,
symbols though they are of our failings,
blunt weapons they are which leave their mark,
scars on us which must remain reminders stark

we must learn to recognise these
in all their many shades,
for it isnt the naked weapon which is deadly,
but one which strikes without a whisper,
as it cuts through the air swift and true,
for the blade which may be deflected,
may be deflected still,
but the cloaked dagger will find its mark true....

Thats all i can seem to say to sum up my feelings right now.....
I just did something i never would have thought i would do in my life...
I completely blanked in n exam....
i mean yeah im prone to these n all but never have they been so bad...
n never after so much effort....
all those nights of work... those mornings of getting up at 5 to make a mark all seem to be useless now....
i cant even bring my self to face the facts ... I FAILED....
I left n exam because i couldn't recall anything.....i couldn't prove to my self that i was smart the thing i keep tooting my horn about......
one of the most valuable things i had is now gone....
my confidence in my ability.....something despite all the exams i did badly in , all the entrance exams i couldn't crack disappeared, gone in an instant, poof!!!!
i cant even begin to think the kind of blow this will be to my parents, my mom with her unwavering confidence in me probably shattered forever, my dad his silent support always there by my side, my sis for whom i so wanted to be an idol or at least something whose some qualities could be emulated if not all......
i don't know now how to face the world and whether its all gonna be worth it any more,
yeah i have 4 more exams coming up, but how am i now supposed to tell myself that yeah u can do it, no one can hold you down, the world is for your taking?
how will i inspire confidence in my self again, how will i face not the world but my self, the world can be fooled but not myself, they can be told yeah that u know there wasn't enough effort n they wont blink, but how will i tell myself that when i have burned the midnight oil to go far yet failed,
they say that our losses will show us the path to what we have truly achieved, but i ask can i ever recover from such a loss,
another part of me seems to scream out you have the support of everyone who matters, what more do you want, yes your parents are going to be disappointed yes they will be shocked but also no matter what they are going to be by your side, they are going to help you get through these tumultuous times nto only that you have your friends the most loyal ones the ones you can truly count on,
another thing bothering me is the fact that im going to have fewer days in bombay this time round with close to none woth my angel, i hope she understands maybe this is all part of a test that God has planned out for me.....
i cant seem to wrap my head around all that is happening but one thing that i do seem to know is that
Now is the time for me to move forward, to hold my head high and stride through these dark waters, now is the time for me to pay back the confidence shown in me by all tose by my side, friends, family them all....
now is the time not to be depressed but revitalized, to consider this as a new oppurtunity for the unknown and to dive head first into this and regain the shattered confidence the world seemed to have in me no matter how long it takes..... to day is the time for me to rise stronger despite life trying to push me down further....
looking forward to cracking the next exams...
Till Next Time...
See-Ya!!!

I guess the title says it all....its been a long time since i last posted.....
well life has been progressing at a breakneck speed at have hardly had time to collect my thoughts enough that i would be able to post.....
there was me coming back from meeting my angel....
my exams breathing down my neck.....
they goin on now btw..... :(
n lotsa other things some good some bad...
now have lotsa ideas for posts n once i hit my home base come dec 5th there is gonna be lotsa furious bloggin with me havin many ideas for stuff to write n also lotsa changes gonna be made on the blog itself so it looks much nicer, has tags for everything and is a lot cooler in every way.....
so leving the blog unattened once again till then...
this is me wishin my self best of luck for my maths exam n saying
Till Next Time...
See-Ya!!!